Two responsive readings were selected for this sermon because they are ideally suited to a message about dealing with "regrets".
Psalm 32 is when David is struggling with the guilt of a pretty grievous sin and how he overcomes it with forgiveness. Psalm 51 is David after he has confessed his adultry with Bathsheba, another man's wife.
“Restore the joy of Your salvation to me, and give me a willing spirit.” he pleaded in Psalm 51:12.
Psalm 32 shifts from a cry of guilt, bordering on hyperbole, to the joy of forgiveness.
“You are my hiding place; You protect me from trouble. You surround me with joyful shouts of deliverance. ” (Psalm 32:7)
Do you see the change that happens in these psalms? David goes from guilt to glory, from frustration to forgiveness, from silence to shouts of joy. It changes his outlook and the way he approaches God. God didn't change. It was David that changed. God never changes. It is us that changes.
Regrets: I've had a few...I think we all have. Drop the name "Sinatra" in almost any conversation and people our age (90% of this congregation) will know you mean Ol' Blue Eyes, the Chairman of the Board, leader of the Rat Pack...The late Frank Sinatra.Some of the lyrics to his signature song "My Way" can move you to tears. "Regrets, I've had a few, but then again too few to mention…" for example.
It is not common knowledge, but "My Way", which became a classic anthem of sorts, was originally the creation of two French composers -- Jacques Revaux and Gilles Thibault -- along with Egyptian-born French singer Claude François. Canadian singer Paul Anka added the English words to the song, turning it into one of the all-time favorites we all now know and love.
The original French composers, along with Anka and Sinatra, may have had "too few to mention," (or admit to) -- regrets, that is -- as a way of justifying having lived life their way...and the jury remains out on that one.
But I am the first to confess to a long string of regrets and it includes not doing, as well as doing, a lot of things...Some of which I could write off as doing it "my way."
Come to think of it, missed opportunities––the roads not traveled––may even outnumber mistakes.
...And we make matters worse for ourselves with the woulda, shoulda, coulda lament that is as old as the Bible itself.
John Greenleaf Whittier expressed the concept of regret poetically:
“Of all sad words of tongue or pen,
the saddest are, ‘It might have been.’”
Right off the top, I can assure you that in truth a) we all try to make the best decisions possible in life using the information available at the time, and b) we all mess up from time to time. But it doesn’t help the pain to point that out, does it.
Regret is sorrow or remorse over something that has happened or that we have done.
Regret can also be a sense of disappointment over what has not happened, such as regretting wasted years.
Either way, regrets can be nasty things that we impose on ourselves.
How many decisions do you think you make during the average day? Dozens? Hundreds, perhaps? Psychologists believe that the number is actually in the thousands. Some of these decisions have resounding effects over the course of our lives (like whether or not to go to college, get married, or have kids), while others are relatively trivial (like whether to have a ham or turkey sandwich for lunch).
Some of these choices turn out to be really good while others end up being not so great.
So as you look back at your life and think about some of the choices you have made, you might find yourself wondering why you made some decisions that seem so poor now in retrospect....
Why did you make a certain decision? Why did you say something hurtful to someone without really thinking? Why wasn't I more attentive? Why didn't I show more compassion? Why did I over-react? Why didn't I try harder...?
If only I could take back certain things...If only this and if only that...
I am reminded of a story told by a man named Will Ream who recalled trying to figure out what was best for his children, and having some regrets about how things worked out with his family and marriage. He knew he could have done some things differently...and he was feeling very abandoned, even by God.
His children were the one thing that had kept him going up to a point when desperation finally got the best of him.
He was on the brink of committing suicide. With a knife on his lap and his feet dangling over a cliff, out of nowhere he suddenly heard the voices of his children pleading: "Pray dad...pray!"
..."and I did!" concluded a mercifully unburdened and very much alive Will Ream as he recalled the lowest point of his life and how God pulled him out of it...In the nick of time.
To be human is to have regrets because making mistakes is a universal experience. The Bible gives much instruction that, if followed, can help us get over our tendency to second-guess ourselves -- to be weighed down with regret.
God’s commands and boundaries are written down for us in His Word, and the more we adhere to them, the less we have to regret. However, in God’s grace and mercy, He has also provided a way to deal with regrets when we have not lived as wisely as He wants us to.
In considering what the Bible says about regrets, we should start with the fact that in a couple of places we are told that God himself “regretted” an action He took. The Hebrew root for the word “regret” actually means “to sigh.”
Since we know God does not make mistakes, the concept of sighing is a more descriptive term for the kind of regret God experiences.
Genesis 6:7 says that, after seeing the wickedness on the earth, God regretted making man. This does not mean that the Lord felt that He made a mistake in creating human beings, but that His heart was sorrowful as He witnessed the direction they were going.
Since God knows everything beforehand, He already knew that sin would bring consequences, so He was not surprised by it. Instead, this glimpse into God’s character shows us that, even though He already knows we will sin, it still grieves Him when we choose it, or give in to it.
Human regret, of course, is different from God’s regret. Human regret occurs because we do not know all things and we do make mistakes. As we age, we often look back on decisions made in youth and regret our choices. However, those regrets usually fall into one of two categories.
Our regrets arise from either foolish or misled choices -- bad decisions, or sin choices, and each requires a different response.
First, we may experience regret because of foolish choices...as I say -- situations in the past that we wish had been different.
You know, choices that were really not sins. In fact at the time you had every reason to believe that you were making a good decision, but you now realize that you were very wrong in your impulsive action.
Well, we can deal with that kind of regret by claiming Romans 8:28 -- "And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose."
Simply by submitting to regret and facing up to how you feel, a clearer awareness will flood into your consciousness and reveal a pathway that leads you through a positive healing process.
Instead of beating ourselves up...we can choose to focus on the positive aspects of all we learn from our experiences and trust that, through repentance and rational thinking, nothing was wasted.
God can use even our immature decisions for good if we trust Him. We can likewise forgive ourselves for ill-advised actions and gain a degree of solice from what we learned in Philippians 3:13: "Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead..."
Peter is one biblical example of someone who deeply regretted a foolish decision. Although Peter was committed to Jesus, his fear made him run away when the soldiers came to arrest Jesus, and he later denied his Lord. His actions did not come from a desire to sin, but from impulse, spiritual immaturity, and fear. He deeply regretted his actions and wept bitterly.
Jesus knew about Peter’s regret and specifically asked to see him after His resurrection. We learn from this that our regrets are not hidden from God and He desires to restore us when we return to Him (Malachi 3:7)
"From the days of your fathers you have turned aside from my statutes and have not kept them. Return to me, and I will return to you, says the Lord of hosts." and
(Jeremiah 24:7) "I will give them a heart to know that I am the Lord, and they shall be my people and I will be their God, for they shall return to me with their whole heart."
Other regrets are due to sin choices that may have left scars and consequences. After a lifetime of selfish debauchery, some people in their later years are so overwhelmed by regret they cannot experience joy. The consequences of their sin for themselves and others may haunt them for years.
The pain of regret can drive us to decisions we would not otherwise make.
Judas Iscariot is one such example in the Bible. After he realized that he had betrayed the Messiah, Judas was so filled with regret that he tried to undo his actions by returning the blood money. When that didn’t work, he went out and killed himself.
Regret can lead some to self-destruction, but God wants to use it to lead us toward repentance. It’s important to understand that regret is not the same as repentance.
Second Corinthians 7:10 explains the difference between mere regret and true repentance when it states: “Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret, but worldly sorrow brings death.”
Rather than allow the regret to win, we can allow Jesus to transform us so that our past sin choices magnify His powerful grace. When we come to Him in repentance, believing that His sacrifice on the cross was sufficient payment for the debt we owe, we can be forgiven.
I readily acknowledge that I am speaking to the choir on this (if we had one), but when we place our faith in Jesus Christ for salvation, all of our sins and mistakes are forgiven. That includes past, present, and future, big or small. That is what God has promised to do for all those who receive Christ as Savior...
He applies Christ’s payment for our sins, recognizing that the sins have indeed been atoned for.
In closing, we are reminded of the two men who betrayed Jesus on the night He was crucified. Judas had worldly sorrow (regret), and his life was ended. Peter had godly sorrow (repentance through prayer), and his life was transformed.
So, please understand that we have the same choices those two men had. When we face regret, we can let it consume our lives, or we can lay our sorrows at the feet of Jesus, turn from them, and let Him restore us.
That is the first and foremost blessing in shedding ourselves of worldly regrets, turning them into godly repentance and leaving them faithfully with our one and only true Savior...
God can, and does, have mercy on all of us...Not only for our sins, but unfortunate choices in life too.
...He restoreth our souls; He leadeth us in the paths of righteousness for His name’s sake.
Go before Him often!...Unburden yourself!
Remember the Jesus who is only a prayer away...The Jesus who was here with us in our coffee house several Sunday's ago and is surely with us this morning.
Philippians 4:6-7 tells us: "Do not worry about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."
Rid yourself of regrets! Don't needlessly carry that burden!
May you be surrounded with joyful shouts of deliverance.
It's a great way to live out the balance of your life.
I'm sure that you know all of this, dear faithful Christian friends...It is just my job to remind you...Lest you forget.
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